Earth has survived the Saiyans.
That was apparently not enough.
Less than six months after Vegeta and Nappa arrived expecting to steamroll the planet only to discover that approximately 1,000 Adeptus Astartes had other plans, astronomers have detected another extraterrestrial force approaching Earth.
This one is considerably larger.
And, according to newly uncovered intelligence, they have technically been here before.
The incoming species identifies itself as the Thubans, a reptilian civilization originating from the Thuban star system. Their fleet is currently moving toward Earth and has transmitted a declaration stating that humanity is illegally occupying what the Thubans consider their ancestral home world.
In other words, the lizard people are real.
They want the planet back.
And somehow, this is not even the strangest part.
According to information recovered from captured Thuban operatives, the species did not originate somewhere else and discover Earth later.
They originated here.
Millions of years ago, during the age of the dinosaurs, Earth was apparently home to an advanced reptilian civilization that developed alongside other prehistoric life. The Thubans eventually became technologically sophisticated enough to leave the planet and establish settlements beyond the Solar System.
Their timing was fortunate.
Not long afterward, an asteroid hit Earth and ruined things for practically everyone who had not already invented interstellar travel.
While dinosaurs and countless other species were wiped out, the ancestors of the modern Thubans were safely elsewhere.
For millions of years, they remained away.
Then they came back.
Not openly.
The Thubans possess a natural shapeshifting ability allowing them to imitate other humanoid lifeforms with extraordinary accuracy. Their skin, facial structure, voice, and even body proportions can reportedly be altered enough to pass as human under normal observation.
Which means the people insisting for decades that shapeshifting reptilians had infiltrated governments, corporations, and other institutions were, horrifyingly, correct.
Not entirely correct.
But close enough that everyone else is going to have to hear about it forever.
Officials now believe Thuban infiltration of human civilization began several thousand years ago.
The scope remains unknown.
Investigators have already discovered operatives embedded within political organizations, financial institutions, military contractors, universities, religious groups, and at least one regional fast-food chain.
Authorities have declined to identify the restaurant.
“We are still determining how extensive this was,” one intelligence official said. “At this point, we have to assume that almost any major institution could have had at least one Thuban operative in it.”
The purpose of the infiltration was apparently straightforward.
The Thubans wanted Earth back.
Rather than conquer humanity openly, they intended to manipulate human civilization gradually until they controlled enough governments, infrastructure, and military systems to retake the planet without a large-scale war.
It was, by all accounts, going fairly well.
Then somebody ruined everything.
Nobody knows who.
Thuban records repeatedly reference an unidentified human psychic whose abilities have systematically disrupted their operations around the world.
The individual has never been seen.
No photograph exists.
No government has admitted knowing who he is.
The Thubans themselves appear equally confused.
They do, however, have a term for his ability.
Tychokinesis.
The manipulation of probability.
Exactly how powerful the psychic is remains unclear, but captured reports suggest he can unconsciously or deliberately influence chance on a massive scale.
For the Thubans, that has been catastrophic.
Operations that had worked flawlessly for centuries suddenly began failing for absurd reasons.
Secure meetings were interrupted by accidental fire alarms.
Hidden communications were sent to the wrong recipients.
Agents attempting to assassinate investigators suffered unexplained equipment failures.
One infiltrator reportedly spent twelve years working his way into a senior government position only to be exposed when a child spilled a milkshake on him at a campaign event, causing his concentration to break and part of his face to revert to reptilian form on live television.
Another operative was caught after an elevator malfunctioned at the exact moment he was shifting identities between floors.
A third was reportedly struck by lightning indoors.
Scientists are still trying to determine how that happened.
Thuban intelligence eventually concluded that these events were statistically impossible.
They began searching for the source.
They found nothing.
The psychic continued interfering.
Entire infiltration networks collapsed because of clerical errors, wrong turns, broken shoelaces, badly timed sneezes, dropped phones, power outages, traffic accidents, jammed doors, and one incident involving a runaway shopping cart that has been classified for reasons nobody will explain.
After several years of increasingly improbable disasters, the Thubans abandoned the infiltration strategy.
Their new plan is less subtle.
They are coming to take Earth by force.
Under ordinary circumstances, that would be extremely bad news.
Fortunately, Earth has recently acquired a group of guests who have extremely strong opinions about aliens.
The Adeptus Astartes never left.
Following the defeat of Vegeta and Nappa, the Space Marines had originally intended to depart once they were satisfied that Earth was secure.
Then reports of the Thuban fleet began circulating.
Their commander reportedly reviewed the intelligence, read the section describing the Thubans as a non-human species seeking to conquer humanity, and immediately canceled all departure preparations.
Witnesses say his response was brief.
No official transcript has been released.
It reportedly contained the word “xenos” several times.
Since then, the Astartes have begun fortifying Earth for a second extraterrestrial war.
Orbital defenses are being repositioned.
Ground forces are establishing hardened positions across multiple continents.
Human militaries have also begun coordinating with Space Marine commanders, although several governments have privately complained that the Astartes’ preferred solution to nearly every tactical problem involves significantly more explosives than originally requested.
The Thubans appear to know what happened to the Saiyans.
They are coming anyway.
Intercepted communications suggest the Thuban leadership believes Vegeta and Nappa lost because they were reckless, arrogant, and unprepared for organized resistance.
Thuban commanders insist their invasion will be different.
They possess a coordinated fleet.
They understand military logistics.
They have centuries of intelligence on human infrastructure.
They also still have agents on Earth.
That last advantage may not last long.
The unidentified psychic continues to be a problem.
Since the Thuban invasion fleet began moving toward Earth, its journey has reportedly experienced an almost comical series of setbacks.
Three ships collided during a routine formation adjustment.
A navigation system directed part of the fleet toward the wrong star.
A weapons test accidentally disabled a communications vessel.
One cruiser experienced simultaneous failures in fourteen unrelated systems despite all fourteen systems passing inspection hours earlier.
Thuban commanders suspect the psychic is responsible.
They still have no idea where he is.
Neither does anyone else.
Human intelligence agencies have reportedly begun searching for him, although officials privately admit that finding someone whose supernatural ability apparently causes circumstances to work in his favor may be extremely difficult.
There is also some debate over whether he even knows what he is doing.
One theory suggests the psychic may simply be going about his normal life while reality rearranges itself around him.
If so, humanity’s most powerful defender may currently be sitting at home watching television with no idea that alien invasion plans keep collapsing because he exists.
The Astartes do not seem particularly interested in finding him.
They have their own solution.
The Thuban fleet is still months away.
Earth is preparing.
The Space Marines are preparing considerably harder.
And somewhere beyond the Solar System, an ancient reptilian civilization is approaching the planet it abandoned millions of years ago, convinced that humanity has stolen its birthright.
They survived the asteroid.
They infiltrated civilization.
They manipulated humanity for thousands of years.
Then one unidentified psychic somehow made them start slipping on banana peels, metaphorically and occasionally literally.
Now they have decided to invade.
Unfortunately for them, the last aliens who tried that encountered an entire chapter of genetically engineered super-soldiers who absolutely despise xenos.
The Saiyans learned that lesson the hard way.
Apparently the Thubans would like a demonstration.